Antarctic Islands to Suffer in Trump Tariff Trade War

No corner of the world safe from US import tariffs

Every corner of the media today, be it newspapers, TV, radio or online, is full of reports covering the trade tariffs imposed by Donald Trump.

I don’t propose to add to the cacophony of noise directed at the inhabitant of the Oval Office, but rather take a look in awe at officials from the Washington based department responsible for drawing up the country list.

It is generally accepted, that many Americans have a limited knowledge of geography and where countries are in the world. A few years ago, when I was visiting the US, I was talking to an American who was adamant that the capital of Europe, was Belgium. Europe is a collection of many countries, and has no capital - yet the man I was speaking with was convinced I was wrong and he knew for certain this knowledge was 100% correct.

Maybe that person now works for the US government. Perhaps they were employed for their expertise in world geography and intimate knowledge of each country on the planet.

This expertise shows itself on the list of countries where a flat 10% tariff rate has been introduced. The country in question, will now have any exports they make to the US, subjected to a tax, sorry tariff, of 10% on everything they ship.

I give you - the Territory of the Heard and Macdonald Islands.

Clearly, these islands are well known to the experts in Washington who drew up the world list of where to make charges. On checking their trade databases, they would have found that the value of goods exported from Heard and Macdonald in 2024 was nil. Nothing was imported to the US from the islands, nor for that matter, did the US export anything there.

Following the commands from the tariffer-in-chief, if a country or territory has a matched trade balance with the US, special rules apply. A zero trade balance is about as low as can be achieved, and is the case between the US and Heard & Macdonald. After all, the numbers prove the point. The computer would have said so.

This perfect trade balance between the two places, under instructions from Donald Trump, means that a 10% base tariff will be applied to any future US imports.

Does this worry the inhabitants of the Heard & Macdonald Islands? Are they quaking in their boots on how this will affect the economy? Will businesses on the island suffer? Are the islands heading for the greatest depression in their history?

In a word, no. The inhabitants of these Antarctic islands - are penguins.

No humans live there. There is no trade. Penguins are not best known for their trade expertise or for exporting products to the US.

In their infinite wisdom, officials in Washington, keen to show their boss they have covered all bases, have imposed a 10% base tariff on these remote islands. Islands without any form or trade - or people.

Whether the penguins are about to announce reciprocal tariffs on the United States, was unknown at the time we went to press. The penguin have not responded to questions from the Peacock Report.

Yet, people do visit Heard island from time to time. I know someone who has done just that; an American friend by the name of Wes. I have little doubt that Wes is this morning, shaking his head in disbelief at the news that somewhere he has visited is included in the Trump tariff round. Shaking his head that is, after he has stopped laughing.

These islands are remote. So remote, that it takes almost two weeks to arrive there by ship, from the nearest major country, Australia.

Could be, that Washington is concerned that some countries with higher tariffs, such as Cambodia with a 49% rate, are going to rush to the Antarctic and build manufacturing plants there, to reduce their tariff to 10%?

For this reason, the base rate tariff will remain in force just in case the Cambodians are at this moment, shipping their first factory components southwards.

Donald Trump said that his tariff announcement would happen on April 2, rather than the first of the month. This was to avoid news headlines of April Fool tariffs filling the media.

I’m sure that the media outlets run by the penguins of Heard and Macdonald are grateful for that.